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search main menu skip to primary content skip to secondary content home journalism accidental spy advertising sports escaped from new york navajo codetalkers the treacherous journey of vernon & charlene rollins memoir band of fathers disney on ice drinking’s end nobody died fiction 1 the vale of cashmere 2 the box of life 3 moving expenses 4 never would be too soon 5 the know-nothing party 6 out of the woods 7 stainless youth 8 blue reckoning 9 the moment books great is the truth mission: al jazeera the bastard on the couch websites that work white rabbit: a psychedelic reader about me contact post navigation ← older posts neverland posted on november 29, 2017 by reply i awoke this morning to the news that matt lauer was the latest public figure to fall in the wake of accusations of sexual harassment, and by the time i got my second cup of coffee, garrison keillor announced that he had been fired by minnesota public radio over allegations of “improper behavior.” i have no special insight into the cases of either of these men, or the numerous others who’ve gone down since the new york times (with an assist from ronan farrow and the new yorker ) brought harvey weinstein down–and that story keeps on giving, with people anxiously awaiting fuller disclosure from uma thurman and other victims of his. i did interview james toback (who has been accused of harassment and worse by over 300 women) back in 1991; i was writing a feature about bugsy , for which he’d written the screenplay. spy magazine had done a piece about toback’s pick-up artist schtick–hitting on young women in nyc, name-dropping his way into having lunch with them at the harvard club before propositioning them–and he had refuted the allegations. i wasn’t there to talk about that, though i do remember arriving at his apartment building near columbus circle and calling upstairs only to be told he needed another 30 minutes: he was just “finishing something up.” after cooling my heels in the lobby, he emerged with a young woman who gazed at him adoringly while he talked about dostoevsky, his movie the gambler etc. and i thought: some schticks die hard. i’m glad to see all these mastodons being brought down, pleased that this moment has become a movement and hope that its waves finally reach the white house. but without stating the obvious, i think what ties a lot of these predators together is delusion. think of michael jackson. he was found not guilty on multiple charges of child abuse after hosting overnights at his ranch near santa ynez: neverland. that was the name of peter pan’s island of lost boys, which might make you think of mary martin but makes pedophiles dream of vacationing in bangkok. jackson lived in a world of his own making, complete with amusement park rides and lots of places to hide, until the fantasy walls were broached by police. (he sold neverland after the trial, saying that investigators had forever soiled his sacred place, and seriously cramped his style.) jackson’s was an extreme case, and i know many of his fans still refuse to admit that he was guilty of child abuse. (denial is another form of delusion.) but i think that sense of entitlement, that ordinary rules don’t apply to you, is what links most of those now being accused of (mostly) lesser crimes. it’s why i have trouble dismissing the most serious allegations against woody allen . so many of his films (which i can no longer bring myself to watch) have a plotline about the extraordinary needs of artists, and once you’ve slept with your girlfriend’s daughter, there aren’t too many boundaries left. watch for more backlash soon (even woody worried about a “witch hunt” after the weinstein story blew up), and i’m sure there will be more trump-sized insults before this movement is exhausted. ( senator roy moore , anyone?) but i think the swift action on the part of so many responsible institutions ( npr , the new york times , nbc et al) proves that the intruders are still at the gates. never say never. posted in uncategorized | leave a reply the wicked stepfather posted on august 17, 2017 by reply there has been a lot of scholarly writing about the archetype of the wicked stepmother in the tales of the brothers grimm over the years. bruno bettelheim suggested that having a stepmother wanting to kill her kids allowed children to separate their feelings, and preserve a pristine image of a good (usually dead) mother from the bad one. also, having a wicked mother would be a little too on the nose (though john frankenheimer certainly went there in the manchurian candidate !). in the classic thriller, the stepfather , a super bad new dad–played by terry o’quinn (aka, john locke in lost ) in the original–literally sets out to kill his new children, after having done the same in an earlier family. he’s a classic sociopath, doing evil and moving on, unperturbed. if every president deserves an archetype (george hw bush was your first husband, bill clinton the guy your mother warned you about), trump’s might just be the wicked stepfather. sure, we couldn’t believe it when mom brought this guy home–i mean, have you looked at him? the hair, the teeth, the way he talks about himself? and we could hardly stop barfing when she said she was going to marry him. but we couldn’t leave because, well, america is our home. so we hoped he might pivot once he was our dad (even when we wouldn’t call him that) and hoped he would stop being such an asshole, or at least stop hitting on our girlfriends. but from the beginning, things looked bad. he spent his wedding toast talking about himself and then tried to scare everyone with talk about carnage. and he doesn’t even drink! with the events of charlottesville and his reaction, trump has disappointed on a whole, new level. to follow my metaphor: it’s as if we came home from being beaten up or raped and our new stepdad said, “well, who told you to go out there? and what were you wearing? there are two sides to this, you know. i don’t see that you are so blameless.” when what you wanted was a real dad, one who would try to comfort you and maybe even say, “where is that son of a bitch, i’ll rip his head off!” not, “he looks like a fine person to me!” i don’t know how this horror show will end. but in the movie the kid finally kills the bastard. posted in uncategorized | leave a reply feet of clay posted on august 15, 2017 by reply a few years ago i interviewed a buddhist teacher that i had come to admire. i’d heard this person give a number of dharma talks and liked the way he blended traditional zen teachings with modern poetry and gleanings from other lineages. i asked him if i could interview him for a magazine devoted to buddhism and he agreed. he wanted to know if he could see what i was going to publish before it went to press, and seeing how it was a q&a, i didn’t see a problem. that was my first mistake. all went well with our first interview. he was, not surprisingly, wise and funny about his past and what brought him to the place where he is now. the editors liked the interview but asked for more; they had questions about an old controversy at the center where he taught and wondered if he might address them. he was agreeable, when i finally reached him (corresponding with buddhist monks can be a lesson in patience) and i showed him an edit of the first q&a, which he seemed pleased with. i asked a few more questions, he gave me some good answers and i added them to the final piece, which the magazine rushed into print (though “rushed” is a relative term for any spiritual publication). then the teacher asked me if i could see the final version and i told him it was too late; they hadn’t even given me a chance to review it but presented the story to me in a pdf, fait accompli. not that there was anything to complain about; it was a laudatory feature about a guy doing good work, illustrated with beautiful photos of him in nature. but when i told him that it was too late, but not to worry, he blew a gasket, called me “deceitful” and “manipulative” in an email–fighting words where i come from, and where he comes from, too. (he was raised in what we would today call a conflict zone.) i envisioned kicking the monk’s ass, which is definitely not the way i thought this assignment was going to turn out. i still see this teacher occasionally, and while i admire his teachings, i’m aware that as a human being, he’s as fucked up as i am. i was reminded of this today when reading jack kornfield’s new book, no time like the present . not being up on my buddhist gossip, i was surprised to learn that jack had been divorced, after 30 years of marriage. i’ve heard him speak a number of times, have sat with him and read his books, and just assumed his life was perfect. “i had to let it all be okay and realize that it does not define me,” he writes. “‘how could a teacher of mindfulness and lovingkindness be getting divorced?’ i was asked. “like a human being, that’s how.” reading that helped me let go of my still simmering resentment about the teacher i interviewed years ago. now i have only a few thousand more resentments to go. posted in uncategorized | leave a reply mind makes heaven hell posted on march 10, 2014 by reply i was on the west coast of florida a few weeks ago, not really a vacation since my wife and i were working most of the time – that’s what passes for vacation these days. still, i could see the gulf waves rolling in from where i sat in a little bungalow on casey key and i would have been a fool to complain. there must be a lot of fools there then. the weather was unseasonably cool for a few days – in the sixties my last day there, with the sun struggling to come out – and i heard a lot of grousing among the other wayfarers i met. it was as as though florida owed them something and they wanted to give the state one star on yelp! (“was this review helpful to you?”) – forgetting what the weather was like where they came from: a friend wrote me from madison, wi when i was there, where it was four below, and after florida i went to ny where it was in the twenties every day…. our capacity to make ourselves miserable in the finest of conditions never ceases to amaze me. before we went to casey key, a barrier island in sarasota county, we were seeing my wife’s parents in sanibel, a popular tourist and retirement destination south of there. more than half of sanibel island is made up of wildlife refuges, and thanks to the sanibel comprehensive land use plan of 1974, it has not been developed to death. how could you not be happy there? i saw a local about my age tool by in a purple fiat spider, top down, and i envied him his choice of locale, to say nothing of his car… until he passed me and saw his bumper full of hate stickers. they happened to be anti-obama though you never know in florida: this was the state that gave us the george w presidency (you could argue that the supreme court gave us the george w presidency) but they went democratic in the last election – a swing-state in the truest sense. and it’s not just republicans who become unhinged when the other party is in the white house; i know a lot of dems who were reduced to sputtering, quivering contempt after eight years of bush. i guess i’m marveling at the vitriol. on the nice days you see people looking for shells on the beach (“shelling,” in the local parlance), eyes downcast and shuffling like old-school zombies. it is the picture of carelessness. no matter what your political stripe, doesn’t the whole pursuit of happiness clause mean you should give the need to be right (or left) — and always enraged — a rest once in a while? the wave i got from my neighbors when i went running on the beach was not just the one-per-center wave of recognition (though being able to be there in march by definition puts me somewhere in the upper class bracket); it’s an acknowledgement of our good fortune. hey there, says that little wave: ain’t it good to be alive? posted in uncategorized | leave a reply i give up, too posted on march 1, 2014 by reply taking a page from alec baldwin’s remarkable manifesto in new york magazine – which was to free-floating hostility what ella fitzgerald was to scat singing – i have decided to resign from public life as well. i’m back in new york as it happens – and why is really none of your concern – and i notice the change when i go out the door. as soon as i try to leave the food market they start with the questions: “did you find everything you were looking for?” “do you want to buy a bag for ten cents?” “do you want your receipt?” it used to be you could go out on the street and be left alone. like many rubes from the provinces, i marveled at how, the first time i came here in the eighties, people would walk right by me when i tried to ask a question. then, over time, i came to understand that most people asking questions are a) trying to hustle you or b) too stupid to be real. or as the fellow said to the cop in times square, having asked many strangers: “is there any way to get to the statue of liberty without fucking myself?” you could count on people to leave you alone. i remember, having seen eric bogosian in one of his one-man shows the night before, walking past the monologist on a street in soho. “hey, great show last night!” i shouted. he looked at me like he wanted to call security. note to alec: i don’t think bogosian has many strangers bugging him these days. not that i’m saying alec was overreacting but i did see him once on west 12 th street. i happened to be on the phone and smiling about something when i made eye contact with him and he looked at me like i owed him money. so paranoia may just be his pepsodent. but back to me. it used to be, here in fort greene (and wouldn’t you like to know my exact address?) you could count on no one asking you for nothing. okay, there was that crack head that offered to blow me but she did call me “sir.” now total strangers emerge from the subway in the summer and ask, with a french accent, “where is ze flea market?” really, pal: do i look like fodor’s? which is why i’m moving to california. actually, i moved to california last year – when? i don’t think’s that’s really any of your business – and the energy has changed in the bay area. where people used to ask you inappropriate questions all the time – “how’s it going?” “what’s up?” – now most people are content to interact with their phones and leave you alone. except for the homeless people. they’re still asking me for money. so if you want to find me you’ll have to use the phone book (“what’s that?” i hear you say) and then drive around my neighborhood and hope to see me out walking my dog. what kind of dog? the nerve of some people. posted in uncategorized | leave a reply post navigation ← older posts archives select month november 2017 august 2017 march 2014 september 2013 july 2013 june 2013 may 2013 april 2013 march 2013 february 2013 january 2013 november 2012 august 2012 july 2012 may 2012 march 2012 february 2012 september 2011 august 2011 may 2011 april 2011 march 2011 february 2011 january 2011 december 2010 november 2010 october 2010 september 2010 june 2010 may 2010 april 2010 march 2010 february 2010 january 2010 december 2009 november 2009 october 2009 september 2009 august 2009 july 2009 june 2009 may 2009 april 2009 march 2009 february 2009 january 2009 december 2008 november 2008 october 2008 september 2008 august 2008 july 2008 june 2008 may 2008 april 2008 march 2008 february 2008 january 2008 december 2007 november 2007 october 2007 september 2007 august 2007 july 2007 june 2007 may 2007 april 2007 march 2007 february 2007 january 2007 december 2006 november 2006 october 2006 september 2006 august 2006 july 2006 june 2006 may 2006 april 2006 march 2006 february 2006 january 2006 december 2005 november 2005 october 2005 september 2005 august 2005 july 2005 recent posts neverland the wicked stepfather feet of clay mind makes heaven hell i give up, too proudly powered by wordpress | log in

URL analysis for seanelder.com

http://seanelder.com/2017/11/neverland/#respond
http://seanelder.com/memoir/band-of-fathers/
http://seanelder.com/journalism/escaped-from-new-york/
http://seanelder.com/journalism/sports-and-advertising/
http://seanelder.com/page/2/
http://seanelder.com/memoir/drinkings-end/
http://seanelder.com/2017/08/feet-of-clay/#respond
http://seanelder.com/non-fiction/white-rabbit-a-psychedelic-reader/
http://seanelder.com/#secondary
http://seanelder.com/2014/03/mind-makes-heaven-hell/
http://seanelder.com/fiction/the-vale-of-cashmere/
http://seanelder.com/fiction/never-would-be-too-soon/
http://seanelder.com/2017/08/feet-of-clay/
http://seanelder.com/fiction/the-moment/
http://seanelder.com/non-fiction/
retrospectjournal.co.uk

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Domain Name: SEANELDER.COM
Registry Domain ID: 154528272_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.godaddy.com
Registrar URL: http://www.godaddy.com
Updated Date: 2016-05-09T18:16:22Z
Creation Date: 2005-05-04T18:53:30Z
Registry Expiry Date: 2018-05-04T18:53:30Z
Registrar: GoDaddy.com, LLC
Registrar IANA ID: 146
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: [email protected]
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: 480-624-2505
Domain Status: clientDeleteProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientDeleteProhibited
Domain Status: clientRenewProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientRenewProhibited
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
Domain Status: clientUpdateProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientUpdateProhibited
Name Server: NS33.UK-NOC.COM
Name Server: NS34.UK-NOC.COM
DNSSEC: unsigned
URL of the ICANN Whois Inaccuracy Complaint Form: https://www.icann.org/wicf/
>>> Last update of whois database: 2017-08-27T00:54:50Z <<<

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  REGISTRAR GoDaddy.com, LLC

SERVERS

  SERVER com.whois-servers.net

  ARGS domain =seanelder.com

  PORT 43

  TYPE domain

DOMAIN

  NAME seanelder.com

  CHANGED 2016-05-09

  CREATED 2005-05-04

STATUS
clientDeleteProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientDeleteProhibited
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NSERVER

  NS33.UK-NOC.COM 205.234.110.53

  NS34.UK-NOC.COM 83.223.98.50

  REGISTERED yes

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